Hiding Away
by saphire butterfly
Summary: For almost all her life she's been abused. Abused by the one suppose to protect her. Will this school Hogwarts save her from the unforgiving world? Will anyone try to help her? And are things in this new world really as they seem? Who's the real bad guy?
1. Prologue

I hid in my closet, whimpering slightly. I covered my mouth and attempted to stop breathing. My breathing came out in harsh puffs through my little nose. I desperately tried to block out the noises from the other room. Flesh hitting flesh, muffled screams and sobs, begging for him to stop. I gave a nearly silent sob of my own, wishing he would just stop. She didn't deserve this, neither of us did.

Finally, after what seemed to be forever, the noises ended. My tears continued to stream down my face as I waited for him to look for me. It was the same every time he was drunk, which seemed to be nearly every night now. I prayed, as I did every time, that this would be the time he didn't find me and instead would be taken away forever, never to hurt me or mummy ever again.

But alas, it seemed it would not be the time. The door slammed open, and I thought numbly, another hiding place ruined. He sneered, an awful face, as he roughly yanked me up and dragged me down the hall. I glanced slightly at my unconscious mum before looking away. She was tied to a bed post and covered in nothing but her blood.

I tried to blank my mind as he began his torture, telling me what a good slut I would be when I was older. I concentrated my mind on the memory of when he was my caring, loving father. I desperately held onto that image, almost floating away from my overly abused body. But I was abruptly dragged back to reality when he stopped.

I looked at him fearfully. Something was different, he was changing the usual way. And change isn't good. Whenever something changes, something bad happens. He was looking to the window, as if listening to something. I tried to hear it, but nothing came to me, it was like every other peaceful night, an immense contrast to the inside of this house.

A moment later he was dragging me and my mother to a closet in the hall. He locked the door with the promise that if he heard anything he would kill mummy. I fearfully nodded, even after he left and the door was closed. I listened closely as I heard him talk to the men below.

"Good Evening Sir. We are the police. We had some of your neighbors complaining that they heard screaming coming from your house. Could you possibly help us and clear up this mess?" He sounded truly nice and as if he genuinely wanted to clear this all up. I couldn't stop the feeling of hope that welled up in my chest, maybe he would save me and mummy.

"I'm sorry to say, but I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about." He sounded sad. I froze in fear, what was he doing? "I thought I was the only one to hear the screams…maybe I'm not losing my mind." I could almost see the officers surprised look. I shivered in anticipation, covering my mouth as a whimper tried to escape.

"I'm sorry, but what are you speaking of?"

"You see, my wife and little baby girl, she was only six years old, died in a car accident a little of a year ago. I couldn't even change their rooms." I heard him start to sob, speaking incoherently. No! What is he doing?! Me and mummy were suppose to finally be free today! No, don't say good bye! Don't apologize! He's lying!

I thought this desperately as the officers walked away. I wanted to yell out my thoughts, but I was to afraid of the consequences. I shivered as I heard a low, evil laughter. It echoed up the stairs as the source drew closer. I couldn't suppress the whimper as the door was thrown open. I stared up into the once warm eyes of my father, now filled with cold hatred.

I was once again dragged to my fathers room, my mother left behind. The torture was resumed, he was more vicious in the hits than before. He seemed to execute them with almost reverent air about him. This frightened me, he looked as if he needed this.

I looked to the window, wishing the officers back. But I knew they wouldn't come back. And I knew this wouldn't be the only time my father lied to them. I also knew this wouldn't be the last I would hide my wounds. I once more concentrated on my old image of my loving family, floating from my broken body, wishing someone out there would save from this hell.

"Sleep now Hermione, we will continue this when you are able to stay awake, you weak little bitch." Those words, spoken with such hate and malice, were the last things I heard that night.


	2. Entering A New World

**Joy, this is what it feels like. This must be why all the other children laugh on the playgrounds, run with their friends, not worry in the world. You couldn't help it when this feeling was coursing through your blood. I ran down the hall, not having to worry about father at the moment, seeing as he was at work.**

**I ran to the basement, my mothers holding chamber. I stopped beside her chained up form. She looked at me weakly, yet happily. The same expression she always gave me. I kneeled down so she didn't have to strain her neck. I pulled the letter from my pocket.**

"**Look mum, look what came for me!" She tried reading it, she really did. But after years of abuse, her sight finally failed her. I could see her struggling to hide this weakness, but I could see the pain it caused her. She was still prideful, not wanting to admit defeat. But finally, she sighed, showing how broken she truly was.**

"**On second thought, I think I want to tell you, I just can't help it!" I tried hiding the reason behind my sudden change. But we both knew why I decided to read it. She gave me a thankful yet sad look. I pulled the letter to myself and read over the fancily written words.**

"**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore**

**(Order Of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)**

**Dear Aspiring Witch/Wizard,**

**We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins as soon as you are enrolled. We await your owl eagerly.**

**Sincerely yours,**

**Minerva McGonagall"**

**I paused to take a deep breathe. I hadn't breathed a single breath during the entire reading, I was too excited. My mother looked at me with happy eyes. But I wasn't done yet.**

"**Oh please mum, please let me go. I really want to, it will be a new experience, a way to get away…" I trailed off, conscious of what I was really wanting. I wanted away from my father, a way to be free. It wouldn't be permanent, but it would be something. I looked back into my mothers eyes, understanding shining through.**

"**Yes. But don't let your father know. In fact, burn the letter, memorize it first. I know how good you are at that. You're so smart my dear girl. What do they mean by owl?" I could hear her laboring breath. It was hard for her to speak that long now.**

"**They have an owl waiting for my reply. Can I go?" I looked at her. I was sad, knowing that I would be leaving her. My father would be angry. Not only would he force my beatings onto mum, but also from the extra anger he would be more brutal and sadistic.**

"**Yes honey, I want you to go. Maybe you will be safer." I nodded sadly. She motioned with her head for me to go, knowing even through my sadness that I was eager to go. I nodded and stood. I looked at my mums pitiful form once before I ran upstairs to the waiting owl.**

**I hastily wrote my reply, my affirmation of accepting the position as one of their students. The owl immediately flew off with my reply. I sat down on the bed I still had from when I was six. I hugged a pillow to my chest, wondering how I was to gather my equipment.**

**I remembered my mothers request about said letter. I stood quickly, letter in hand, and ran to the kitchen. I searched for one of the many lighters my father kept for various…reasons. I gave a triumphant yelp as I found one and immediately flicked it open. The flamed danced innocently as I held the letter above it. It happily ate up the paper, almost greedy in its feasting.**

**I gently placed the lighter back in its place, exactly as it was before, after I cleared the ashes of the letter, placing them in the frequently used fireplace. I walked calmly up the stairs to my room and sat on my bed. I was startled out of my daze as a gentle tapping started on my window.**

**I quickly looked up to see the same owl as before. I jumped from my bed and opened the door, allowing the owl to leave its letter and fly back out. I watched it disappear before closing the window. I turned back to the letter sitting on my bed. I nearly tore it open in my excitement. I read it aloud quietly to myself.**

"**Dear Miss Granger,**

**We are pleased to have you accept our invite to our school. Because of your muggle heritage, we will have someone arrive shortly to take you to the required places for your equipment. Hogwarts would also like to pay for the expenses of your trip. Your guide will inform you of the basics of the Wizarding world.**

**With Many Thanks,**

**Headmaster Dumbledore"**

**I gave a happy little laugh before I abruptly stopped. My head snapped to the window as I heard my father walk up to the house, his steps unsteady. I fearfully gripped the letter. My head snapped to my door as I heard a pop.**

**My eyes widened at the dark form standing before me. His hair was black and reached his shoulders. He was wearing black robes, like a wizard from TV. His eyes were also black. In fact, the only thing lacking the dark color was his skin, which was a deathly pale color. His nose was hooked. I looked at him excitedly, yet with trepidation.**

**I had to get him away from the house lest my secret be revealed. My little mind quickly thought up a plan. This plan was most likely going to get me killed, this man didn't seem so keen on children. I quickly began my execution of the plan.**

**I leaped from my bed and began firing off questions, not giving him the chance to answer. I could hear father walking to the kitchen, probably to gather his weapons. Quickly, I jumped at the man, my little arms going about his waist, not quite reaching all the way around. The man stiffened, and with a fake devious face I looked up.**

"**You know, the faster we go the faster you get rid of me." He looked at me with narrowed eyes before giving a slight nod. Good, I was afraid he was suspicious for a moment. He laid a hand on my shoulder and with a pop my room disappeared, along with my fathers surprised face.**

**I pushed from the man and covered my mouth with one hand while the other covered my stomach. I had never needed to through up this badly before, it was a surprise. I took deep breathes through my nose before standing up straight with a calm look. The man raised a brow before motioning me to follow. I did as instructed and followed closely behind him, looking at the stores we passed.**

**Things twirled about, store names in odd words, strange animals lazing in windows, stores dedicated to things like wands and broomsticks. I looked in wonder. I had never seen so many wondrous things, so many strange things. The road was crowded. I was sure if the man wasn't with me I would be pushing and shoving my way through, most likely with no success at all. Children gathered themselves around store windows, calling out to their parents and friends to look at something. I couldn't hold back the sudden burst of jealousy.**

**They were lucky, they could call out to their parents, knowing they were safe and healthy, knowing they wouldn't hit them. They could hug their mothers without the fear of opening wounds, without breaking a bone from a gentle touch. They could hug their fathers, knowing they wouldn't hit them, torture them, starve them. Knowing they weren't going to eventually rape them.**

**I felt a hand close around my wrist and pulled me forward. I whimpered from an instinctual fear instilled by years of abuse. The man I was traveling stopped and looked at me, a calculating look in his eyes once more. I froze before giving a sheepish smile. His gaze didn't lift. I faltered a little.**

"**Umm, my name is Hermione, Hermi-" I was rudely interrupted.**

"**I know your name." I waited for him to continue speaking. When he didn't, I decided I should once again speak.**

"**Well, umm, what's your name?" I looked up hopefully at him with the best innocent face I could muster. You would think this would be easy for easy for an eleven year child, but it wasn't for me. I haven't been around people for years, I haven't had a reason to hide from people. So, with every amount of will in my body, I summoned the look to my face.**

**He looked at me for a few minutes. We simply looked each other in the eye, in the middle of the crowd. I could feel a prickling in my head. I stiffened and immediately closed my mind off, letting my body run on instinct. He narrowed his eyes, from what I'm not sure. His jaw tightened and I was tempted to cower in fear but I held my place. Finally, though it seemed to bring him grief, he nodded and opened his mouth to answer.**

"**I am Severus Snape, I will be your Potions Professor. You will refer to me as Professor Snape or Sir." I nodded. I didn't really have much to say to that, I doubt anyone would have anything to say to that. But he raised his brow, clearly expecting me to say something. I raised a brow of my own. He raised his other brow, I raised my other own. He narrowed his eyes, I narrowed my eyes. I couldn't keep my mouth from twitching.**

**I didn't realize people were this fun! Oh how I wish father had let me out of the house. I wish I had been able to play and meet with people before! I sighed, now was not the time to dwell, I still had to deal with father later tonight.**

**I looked back at the man, he seemed to be waiting for me to stop thinking. I nodded up at him, signaling I was ready. He gave a curt nod of his own and spun around, marching down the road, me right on his tail.**

**I walked behind him as we arrived in muggle-non magical people-London. He was curt and to the point, quite annoying actually, but he was informative, and at least he was polite about it. He was suppose to take me home and I was desperately trying to find a way to get him from it. Finally, an idea came over me.**

"**Sir, my parents are taking me to a play tonight and they said if I was done before eight to meet with them at the music hall. So, may you take me there instead please?" he turned to look at me, eyes boring into mine. I looked back. I felt that prickly sensation again and once more I closed my mind off.**

**He sighed in frustration before nodding. I'm glad my stuff was sent straight to the school. He walked forward after a glance around the empty alley and grabbed both my arms, right above my elbows. The awful feeling came over once more.**

**We landed in an alley behind the Hall. I squeezed me eyes shut. It wasn't nearly as bad this time, but it was still pretty bad. I took deep breathes through my nose to settle my upset stomach. When I was better I looked back up to Snape, as I had begun to refer to him as in my mind. He dragged me from the alley, holding onto my wrist. We blended easily into the crowd, no one noticing the oddness of a child and grown man leaving a dark alley.**

**He walked me into the Hall before looking at me pointedly. I looked back up at him. I know he wanted to see me off to my parents, but of course that couldn't happen. I smiled up at him, I'm sure he could immediately see through it.**

"**Well, thank you Sir. My parents gave me money before we left the house to buy a ticket if I decided to come. Have a good night." I desperately tried to convey my message through my eyes that I wanted him to leave. He narrowed his eyes, probably tempted to find out what I was hiding. But, after a moment, he seemed to see that he would not find out and that it really wasn't any of his business.**

"**Good day. I will see you when term begins." he gave a little nod, which reminded me of a polite little bow, and walked swiftly out of the hall, robes billowing about him. I noticed it was odd that no one had commented at his odd choice of dress, no one in the muggle world wore robes. I shook my head and walked to the ticket booth, intent on begging for a ticket.**

**Well, I didn't get the ticket. The old lady had glared and threatened me with security if I didn't leave the building. I lingered as long as possible before leaving and starting on my way home.**

**The dark night was comforting. The breeze played with my frizzy, curly brown hair. It spun around me, dancing between my slightly pale fingers. My golden eyes slightly drifted closed, simply taking in the sensations.**

**It had been a long time since I felt like this. Father never let me outside. I never went outside for fear. When he was away, I would open the window in my old room and look outside, feel the wind. I would curl up and read any book I could find.**

**Books were my safe haven. They taught me, taught me how to do everything, how things react to each other. They seemed to speak to me, telling me everything would one day be alright. Their words could take me away, far away where there was no such thing as pain. They could tell me stories of happy families, love, friendship, bravery, happiness, everything! Books were my only friend, they were the only ones that understood me.**

**I walked quietly to the front door. I could hear my fathers angry ranting and I sighed. Tonight would be painful. It always was when he was angry. I knocked quietly on the door, slightly hoping he didn't hear and I could just leave. But alas, the door swung open and my father yanked me in roughly by the arm, promising I was for in a world of pain tonight. I didn't disagree.**


	3. Part One of Year One

I tugged my hood lower over my head and fly away brown hair. My golden eyes nervously glanced around the crowded bus station. I was lucky to actually get here. Father was called to work which gave me the opportunity to get out of the house and get here. King's Cross Train Station was to far a walk, so I had to take a bus down there. The tickets were cheap and I found extra money in the house, a rarity. My mother had wished me happy days at school.

Truly, I was excited. This would be my first time going to school. I would have new books, new experiences. I was going to immediately start studying, to show people that I could do this, that I wasn't a lost cause. It wasn't so much for them, just me. I needed to know that I wasn't a waste of space, like my father always told me. And if I did well, maybe I could a job in this world. Maybe I could save mummy and bring her here to protect her!

I got on my assigned bus and waited for it to move out. I closed my eyes and listened to the low rumbling of the bus and its passengers. The bus set out now long after. I kept my eyes closed, nervousness setting in.

I was worried about my mother. I was scared I wouldn't see her next summer. I'm not coming home for breaks, my mother told me not to. I was worried I really was a nobody, that I really was a waist of space and air. I was worried about not making any friends. I was scared everyone else would hate me like father. Overall, I was nervous.

I found an empty compartment and quickly sat down. Running through a wall to be greeted by a train-the first one I had ever seen-had scared me. Then seeing people ducking under floating luggage like it was an everyday thing surprised me. To run into someone and have them apologize instead of beating me baffled my little mind. So as soon as I got on the train I found an empty spot.

I was hoping no one would sit with me, I was still a little nervous. Like I said, I haven't been around this many people in years, not including the trip to Diagon Alley. I closed my eyes before quickly opening them when someone came in my little compartment. I looked up.

It was a boy. He had a bit of a long face and was a little chubby. His hair was brown and combed on his head, though it looked a little ruffled. His skin was slightly tanned, though a little flushed, he must have been running. His robes were black and the sleeves were a little long. He had on dark brown loafers. His robe clad arms held a little animal that I recognized to be a toad from one of my books. But the boys eyes captured my attention.

They were brown, a common color. But they were so deep, so dark, they looked like chocolate, something I remember from my childhood. They sparkled with kindness, but I could see his shyness. He looked at me nervously as he sat down. We looked at each other. I realized he was just as nervous as me, and I felt a little better. Maybe I wasn't so different from everyone else as I thought. I decided to speak, and hopefully make my first friend.

"Hello, my name is Hermione, Hermione Granger. I'm a first year. How do you do?" I repeated the words my mother taught me to say to people I wanted to be my friend. He seemed surprised, like he didn't expect anyone to like him. I knew the feeling. After a moments hesitation and a little tightening on the toad in his arms, he answered.

"M-my name is N-n-Neville Lon-ongbottom." I smiled. I was off to a good start, judging by the smile on his face. We talked shyly for the rest of the ride. And as we neared the school with excitement, I knew I had just made my first friend.

I comforted Neville slightly as we waited for our names to be called. His toad, Trevor, had just leapt in front of McGonagall, interrupting her speech. He was mortified. I was in awe of the hall like the rest of the students, keeping silent. I didn't want anyone to hear how much I liked the moving scenery above us, someone may take it away. My comforting was interrupted by my name being called.

"Hermione Granger!" I walked up to the stool as every eye was on me. I trembled and rung my hands together in front of me as I sat on the rickety stool. The hat was placed on my head, in which it began to speak in my mind, a strange experience.

'_Aa, what a brilliant mind. So much knowledge and wisdom, you know so much! And you learned all of it by yourself. Imagine what you could learn amongst others your age and intelligence._

_But oh, what is this? A terrible life. Evil father, dying mother. You keep it all to yourself? Why, I ask. But no, now is not the time. Hufflepuff is most definitely not the place for you. Slytherin too, you are much to kind for that. Though, you are good at hiding things…no, not the place. So now, Ravenclaw or Gryffindor?_

_You could be with others who know as much or more than you. You would be comfortable, they would accept you. Though, you seem as if you need people to want to know more of you, not your intelligence. You could be with the Gryffindors. They are brave, kind people. They would want to know you. But then again, Gryffindor has been known to be ignorant on others thoughts and emotions. They also act before thinking. But maybe you could help._

_Hmm, such a hard decision. I love a challenging mind. And you close me off so well. I almost didn't get to see anything. You have a strong mind. Much like another student I sorted around two decades ago. Same problem as you, though it was between Slytherin and Ravenclaw._

_Hmm, maybe I should do the same thing with you. He may have suffered for a while, but at least now he has a chance at life. Hmm, yes. Then it's settled. I know just were to put you. I wish you good luck young one, may you succeed here at Hogwarts.'_

I felt him leave my mind and I opened my eyes as he yelled out, "GRYFFINDOR!" I walked quickly to the table clapping and a few cheering. I sat and waited for Neville to be sorted, praying that he would be in Gryffindor. I sighed in relief when he was and he quickly ran over to sit next to me. I talked with him quietly until a wave of whispers ran through the hall. I looked up to see what was the big deal was.

There was a boy looking out nervously over the crowd. His hair was black and scruffy, wind blown. He was slightly pale, but not much. I couldn't see his eyes, but I think they were green, I remember while I was waiting for my name to be called. His glasses were big and thick rimmed, round. They were broken in the middle with tape holding it together. He didn't look like much, just another kid. But we made eye contact and suddenly I could see everything.

A flash of green and screaming of a woman. Kind yet sad blue eyes. Rumbling all around and cold air. A lady yelling, a man yelling, a round boy yelling. Hitting him. Mocking him. Ignoring him. Hating him. Meeting a big man. Going on a cart under ground. A strange wrapped object in a large chamber. Looking up at a large castle. A red head talking to him. Looking up at a moving ceiling. A talking hat. People whispering and pointing at him as he stood nervously.

I gave a nearly silent gasp as the room came back into view. The boy had fallen to the ground. An old man, the Headmaster, and McGonagall kneeled beside him. The students were distressed, some yelling questions and some yelling mindlessly. I whirred around as Neville touched my wrist, my shoulders tense. I looked into his worried eyes as he spoke.

"What's happening? Why are you so pale? Are you ok?" I nodded that I was okay.

"I'm not sure. I'm just frightened, I mean, what happened?" he nodded. We looked back up as the Headmaster called for silence, his enhanced voice echoing throughout the hall.

"No need to fear, Mr. Potter merely fainted from nerves." The boy flushed. I narrowed my eyes at the Headmaster, knowing he was lying and wanting to know the truth. Suddenly, I saw a flash of something. It was fuzzy, but I saw it. He was conversing over the unconscious boy, talking about something like legilimens. I saw the worry and fear in his companions eyes. The room came back into focus. I blinked and my breathing quickened.

The Headmaster stopped talking, his mouth still slightly open. He was looking around the room at every single person. He glanced back to the person I recognized to be Snape. The Headmaster made one more glance around the room before saying that the sorting will continue. He quickly walked back to his seat with another glance to Snape.

The rest of the feast went on without a hitch. The Headmaster made his final announcement before exiting the hall with Snape. I watched them nervously. I turned back to Neville as he suggested we should follow our Heads of Houses. I nodded and followed.

Later that night, as everyone else slept, I snuck out and into the hall. I walked wearily and back tracked my way to the library that was pointed out to us on our way to the rooms. My steps were silent, something I had perfected long ago, as I walked down the silent halls. I quickly found the library and turned the knob. Only, nothing happened, meaning the door was locked. I sighed, it was too bad. I guess I'll have to come back in the day.

I walked silently back up to the rooms, making plans for the next few weeks. I needed to find a book on legilimens, I had too. I had a feeling it would help me. I said the password to the fat lady, who wasn't happy about being woken, and walked back up to the girls dormitories. I crawled into bed in baggy, ripped up jeans and a loose dirty shirt. They were the only clothes I had. As I fell into sleep, I made a mental note to find a spell or charm to keep clothes clean.

Nothing interesting happened the entire first half of the year. I went to classes silently and did everything, excelling and surpassing my peers quickly. I threw myself into my work, just as I promised myself. I quickly found that I was intelligent, or at the very least talented.

I could figure things out easily, applying all of my classes in everything. I practiced all the time, even stuff not being taught yet. I wanted to be prepared. I always was. My homework was always above and beyond. I got top marks in everything. Well, almost everything.

Snape refused to give me an O. I'm not sure why. All the nasty remarks he puts on my paper are untrue. And they're so mean. I knew I should ignore the words, but he was the first magical person I had ever met and he seemed as if I was a disappointment, a disgrace, like I was the most foul thing on the Earth. And that made me sad. I thought I was doing well, I thought I was doing everything right. What was I doing wrong? What could I do to be better? Should I practice more?

I shook the thoughts away as I walked with Neville outside. I hugged him good bye and watched as he boarded the train. He waved to me, and I waved back, as the train pulled away. Before he was out of sight, he yelled with the promise of writing. I smiled and walked back up into the castle and to the Great Hall with the other students seeing their friends off. Including myself, their was only six students staying. Only four teachers stayed at the school, the rest going home.

Instead of the usual tables, there was one round one in the center. The Headmaster sat there, smiling face and sparkling eyes, waiting for us. McGonagall sat on his left and Quirell on her left. Snape sat on the Headmasters right. The other students quickly filed into chairs, leaving me with the one between Harry and Snape. I nervously sat down and tucked into my meal.

It was nearing the meal when Harry flipped over backwards in his chair. He blinked owlishly as everyone stood and asked if he was alright. He sat dazed. I couldn't help it, I had this bubbling in my chest and throat, demanding to be let free. I burst out laughing. Everyone stopped to look at me.

I held my mouth trying to stop the laughter. My body trembled and my eyes watered slightly with the effort. I've never felt this, or not from what I can remember. It felt good. I was light, and a weight seemed to be taken from my shoulders. Everyone was staring at me and I couldn't actually care. Harry, who was still on the ground, slowly began to smile. His chuckles grew until he was laughing too. He held his sides as we laughed, happy. I knew this was one of the first times he had ever felt this feeling also.

The night was filled with laughter. We joked all night, enjoying ourselves. Above the others, mine and Harry's laughter chimed the loudest. I knew, at that moment, that I had indeed found a place that would accept me, somewhere I could find happiness. That night, I made my second friend, Harry Potter.

**A/N: ok, I realized I haven't written the Disclaimer for the other chapters, so I'll do that now. But first, I would like everyone for reading and I hope everyone has enjoyed the story so far!! And just to let you know, I will be splitting every school year into two parts. That's just so I don't confuse anyone! Thank you for reading and reviews.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or its characters.**


	4. Part Two of Year One

Term restarted quickly after Christmas. Christmas, it was amazing. I can't remember any other Christmas when my father had been sane. But this, this was amazing. I got presents! I was so surprised. I got presents from Neville. Sure, it was only one person, but still, I got a present. Harry got more, but he was also surprised. We were so happy. We spent the day running in the snow, throwing snowballs, making snow angels. It was possibly one of the best days of my life.

But as much as I enjoyed myself, I can't help but be excited when Neville returned. He was my first and best friend. I think we hugged for an entire hour. That night, we sat with Harry, Ronald, and his brothers, Fred, George, and Percy Weasley. The twins were funny, though a little odd. Percy was, as Ronald said, a prick. I'm not exactly sure what a prick is, but I don't think it's good. Ronald himself was a little off. He didn't really like me and Neville, almost as if he was trying to keep Harry to himself.

But anyways, term began. Classes restarted, everything returned to normal. Or, what I believe to be normal. I again did my homework as usual. I did sneak into the library, but I was nearly caught by Mrs. Filch. After that, some charms were set around the library to keep people out. So I never got to go to the library.

Near the beginning of the second term, something odd happened. A troll was let out. I was in the bathroom, changing my ratty clothes into something more presentable. The troll entered, swinging its club and hitting the bathroom stall I was in. I had crouched in barely enough time. Shards off wood rained on me, a large piece coming and lodging itself into my right side. It attacked the other stalls before spotting me.

Right as it swung its club down onto me, said club was lifted from its hand. I peered around the large troll to see Harry with his wand held up, pointed at the club floating in the air. I felt a swell of pride, I taught him that spell. Ronald came out from behind him and attacked the troll, clinging around his neck.

My eyes widened in shock. The idiot! He was going to get hurt. You don't jump onto someone stronger and bigger than you. Just as I predicted, the troll grabbed him and flung him against the wall. In Harry's shock, he lost concentration of the spell and the club dropped on the troll's head, knocking him out. Harry was in shock, staring at the troll.

I ran first to the troll. Once I was satisfied that it was sufficiently knocked out, I ran to Ronald. I waved my wand over him and whispered a spell. He groaned before sitting up, holding his head. A moment later, teachers ran in. I stared at them in shock.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one. McGonagall was staring at the troll in shock and disbelief. Quirell was swaying a little in his spot, as if he was about to pass out. Snape was shifting his gaze from me to Harry. The Headmaster was looking between Harry and the troll.

"What is the meaning of this?" McGonagall's shrill voice echoed across the room to us. The boys shifted from foot to foot nervously. My mind went on over drive, thinking a way to get us out of trouble.

I couldn't say the truth. We were all supposed to be in our dormitories, we all knew about the troll and we were supposed to stay there to be safe. But the girls in my dorm would have seen my clothes, we have no way to lock the door. I didn't want the chance of them seeing and I wanted time to have some time alone. I sighed to myself mentally as I realized what I was meant to.

"I'm sorry Professor McGonagall, it's not their fault. It was me. I thought I could take on the troll myself. You see, I've read so much on them I thought it would be no problem. Really, would be dead if Harry and Ronald didn't come. So you see, they were just trying to help me."

I flinched slightly at the disappointed look she gave me. I didn't want her disappointed in me, really, she was my teacher, one of the first ones I had ever had. And she was like a really nice grandmother, or what I assume a grandmother to be like, I've never met mine. The Headmaster was ignoring me, looking at Harry with pride. That hurt, but it's what had to happen. Quirell had briefly looked at me in shock before focusing back down on the troll. Snape was glaring between Harry and myself still, with a contemplative look.

McGonagall looked away from, probably too shamed to look at me, and faced the Headmaster. I lowered my head in shame. How could I? I know it was to help Harry, but how could I lie to someone who obviously cares for me?! Oh no, what if I'm really not worth anything?

While I was in turmoil, I subconsciously listened to the conversation around me. The Headmaster praising Harry, McGonagall awarding points to them, Quirell adding his congratulations. I felt betrayed by Harry. I mean, I understand not wanting to be hurt, trust me, I do, but he could've at least…well, I guess he couldn't. I sighed. No reason to dwell, what's done is done. And besides, I can take the punishment better than them, they've never dealt with a person beating them into unconsciousness. I followed Snape down to the dungeons for my 'detention'.

I followed into the room and waited in front of his desk as he walked to the ingredients room. He must be getting tools. My father sometimes used tools, he always said they brought his point across the greatest. I waited with my eyes downcast, staring at the floor. I heard him walk back in and start a fire. I flinched, fire. Father used fire when he was especially angry. I heard silence, the fire the only noise.

"What are you waiting for? Get over here." I flinched slightly at the angry sound of his voice and walked over to him. I kept my head down and waited for him to begin. I hoped he would get this over with quickly so I could lick my wounds in peace by myself. I waited, the sound of the crackling fire pressing down around me.

"Miss Granger, while I'm sure you could figure it out, I would prefer you looking at the potion when you make it." My head snapped up. What? What's going on? "Don't look so surprised. This is probably the only thing you know how to do, I doubt you've never had to clean a second in all your life."

Oh, I get it. I smiled, fake of course, and walked over to the cauldron beside him. It's what all the teachers thought. They all thought I had a perfect life at home with loving parents and that I was the smartest muggle at my school back home. If only they knew.

We were quiet while we worked well into the night. I had to sneak back to my room so as not to get in trouble, Snape refused to write me an excuse note. I smiled though, as I crawled into bed that night, apparently, I won't be beat if I do something wrong.

I walked carefully down the silent hall with either boy flanking me. I was scared, for once I didn't want to die. I finally found out that my life at home wasn't how every other person in the world lived. I shook my head of the thought and silently unlocked the door with my wand, lighted by the flaming torches behind us. I opened the door and looked back at the stunned cat frozen on the ground before I closed the door. I felt bad about stunning her, but she was in the way. I turned around to face the frozen boys.

This was odd, what was going on? I looked to where their gaze was fixed and froze myself. There was a giant dog. With three heads. It was growling. Oh, did I mention it was huge? What do we do now? We have to get by it, to the trap door, and find the philosopher's stone. Now, what did Hagrid say about calming it? Oh, that's right, play some music.

Only problem, none of us know how to play any music. I looked around and saw an abandoned harp. We should have got here earlier, I'm sure it would've still been playing. I looked over as Harry started shifting.

He pulled the wooden flute that Hagrid gave him. I looked back into his eyes, trying to figure out what he was going to do. He slowly brought it to his lips and blew. I cringed and my hands flew up to my ears at the noise that escaped. The dog thing whimpered and his growling increased tenfold.

I yanked the flute from his hands and blew in it, praying that something good would happen. I almost pulled back when a pretty note came out. Harry motioned for me to continue playing. I did so, placing my fingers clumsily over the holes. I glanced up at the dog to see it laying down. What a surprise, this music was terrible, I could hardly classify it as music. But nonetheless, it worked, and not a moment later the dog was asleep and I stopped playing.

We walked carefully towards the dog, making sure it wouldn't wake, and moved its giant paw from the trapdoor. I jumped in first, the boys insisting, and they followed me. The trapdoor slammed shut above us, bathing us in darkness. I ignored the boys as they expressed their relief while I tried to figure out what we were sitting on. My eyes widened as it started moving, slithering over our legs. I looked up to where I heard the boys screams.

"Devil's Snare."

"what?" -Ronald

"Devil's Snare. The more you move the faster it kills you."

"WHAT?"-Ronald

"How do we get out of it?"-Harry

"It hates the sun."

"Oh, well bloody hell, like we can get the sun down here!"-Ronald

"Or you could stop moving."

"Yeah, like that will help." He stopped listening to our attempts to calm him down and began screaming for help. I rolled my eyes, why can't people just listen for once? I closed my previously rolling eyes and calmed myself, completely still. A moment later, I felt the vines lower me down onto the ground, gently. They left me safely on the ground before retreating back up to their nest.

"Harry, calm down. The vines will bring you down here if you do!"

"Woah, Hermione, what happened? Where are you?"

"Just do as I say!" I waited a moment and heard the vines shift and then Harry was standing beside me. Ron started screaming, begging for help and trying to figure out where we were. Personally, I couldn't really care if he died, I was no stranger to deaths door and I didn't really like the boy. It would be better if he just left. But Harry would be sad and I knew he was meant for something great and he couldn't do that while he was sad.

So I lifted my wand and shouted the spell. The vines quickly dispersed and Ron fell to the ground. I glared slightly as he started spouting about how great it wass that everyone was calm. I turned and walked down the strangely lit hall.

The flying keys were terrifying as they swarmed and threatened us, buzzing around our heads. I caught the key as Harry threw it at me and I unlocked the door, quickly shutting it as Harry flew through. We rested against the door, catching our breathe. Who knew flying keys could be that scary?

The room we were now in was odd. Stone figurines stood, their faces expressionless. They faced each other, on a checkered board. I had feeling of what we were suppose to do, but I followed the boys across the room anyways. The little men pulled out their stony swords and blocked our way out. I took in a shaky breathe.

Before I spoke, Ronald spoke up and stated we had to play chess, wizards chess and that we must be the pieces. Although I knew it was true, I cringed in my mind at having the others recognize as well, meaning there was no way out of it. Harry nodded and we stood in our places, Ronald as the knight.

The battle was intense, broken stone figures flying across the board, staining our clothes and biting into our skin. I had a particular wound on my side that I quickly hid with my cloak, there was no need to worry them.

The battle was won, with us as the victors. Ronald was injured, forcing Harry to go alone. But I recognized the potions as he opened the door and ran in with him, there would be no way he would be able to do this task right. Flames shot up in the doorway we came through and the door Harry needed to go through.

I turned silently to the potions before handing him the one that would get him through the door, enough for only one person. I watched as he walked safely through the fire and grabbed the potion that would take me back to the chess board. I quickly took a sip and walked out.

I was greeted by the sight of the Headmaster, McGonagall, Flitwick, Poppy, and Snape. McGonagall and Poppy were fussing over Ronald, levitating him and slowly floating him out of the room and back out. The Headmaster and McGonagall drank a potion Snape gave them and quickly rushed through the flames. I could barely see them through the flames, but they seemed to be struggling with a barrier of sorts. I turned back to look at Snape, the only person left in the room.

He was staring at me with a quizzical look. I felt the prickly sensation in my head and I closed my mind again. I'm not sure why I close my mind at the prickly sensation, but something told me to. I'm not even sure how I close my mind, I guess that little voice isn't only telling me to do so, but is also doing it for me. Oh well, it must be what people call instincts, and people always say follow your instincts. And if this was instincts, it hadn't failed me yet.

He gave me a glare before motioning me to follow and turning away. I quickly followed, not wanting to be left behind. We were quiet on our walk, nearly back to the Devil's Snare when he stopped, turned, and looked at me.

"How did you find the right potion?" I looked at him incredulously, it was simple. I studied before the three of us came down here, and the potion was easy to spot. It wasn't that hard. But from the look on his face, I knew he wouldn't be happy with that answer so I simply shrugged instead. His glare intensified.

"What do you mean? no offense Miss Granger, but I don't speak the simpleton language of shrugs." I flinched a little at the tone. Ok, so maybe that wasn't the best answer to go with.

"Lucky guess?" I answered with a question. I smacked myself mentally, I thought I got over this idiotic stage with father. I looked back up to Snape and his evil death glare. I shivered a little, remembering the look on my father's face.

"I don't know what you're getting at, but I will figure out what you're hiding, even with your Occlumency." I tilted my head slightly, not recognizing the word. Before I could inquire what he meant, he turned and left, clearly expecting me to follow. And again, I followed so as not to get lost.

We sat on the train, quietly, still recovering from our adventure for the philosophers stone a couple weeks ago. The awards ceremony had done wonders for me. I was feeling more like I belonged here. It was nice. I looked back up to the boys.

Harry still had some cuts covering his face and arms. Ronald was bruised. He didn't want to get rid of them, saying it showed his courage. Harry didn't want to get rid of his because he was hoping it would keep the Dursley's off of him for a while. I already had my wounds taken away, I would need as much energy as possible when dealing with father. After almost an entire year of near complete happiness, father was sure to beat the feeling out of me.

I almost sighed, not wanting to go home. But I needed to check on mother. I also needed to take the beatings away from her for a while, which I'm sure my presence would do. I was scared, not knowing how far he would go this time. I really didn't want to die, I was discovering the world and it was showing me that it wasn't as evil as I thought it was.

Sooner than I expected, the train stopped at the train station. Ronald ran to his parents and siblings. I resented him for it. He had loving parents, parents that were willing to take him to school, love him, parents that could actually leave the house. Why was he allowed to have parents like that and I wasn't? and why did he get to have siblings that loved him? It just wasn't fair!

I turned to Harry, seeing that he hadn't left just yet, to find that he was also looking at me. I smiled and flung my arms around his neck, hugging him for all I was worth. I whispered that I promised to try and write him and pulled away. He smiled and waved as I ran through the barrier with my heavy bag over my shoulder.

I walked home, which was about 23 miles away. I was used to enduring and because of father, I had been able to survive through a lot of things. This walk, while it would be tiring, wouldn't be that hard. I kept my head down and thought about my time at Hogwarts, not sure if I would ever see it again.

**A/N: ok, sorry for not updating in a while. But I hope you guys enjoyed this. Obviously, as you can see, this will not follow the books completely but will have the same general line for the most part. If anything confuses you, it should be answered soon or later, but if it isn't, just tell me and I'll try to clear that up for you.**

**Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed! Thank you for reading!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters.**


	5. Part One of Year Two

_**I looked down at the sidewalk as I pulled the sleeves of my ratty shirt farther over my arms, completely covering my hands. I nervously glanced at the people around me, my covered hand gripping my trunk with a death grip. I made sure all of my skin was covered, not wanting anyone to see the cuts and bruises. I made sure to steer clear of the people that came to close to me. I looked up quickly as I entered the train station, searching for the direction I needed to go. I looked down once more as I found the way I was meant to go and followed the path.**_

_**I quickly made it through the barrier between the train station and the Hogwarts express. A few of my class mates glanced at me before looking away, not caring about me, the annoying know it all. That made me sad, but I guess not everyone was suppose to like you. I'm not exactly sure why they gave me the name, I really don't know everything, the professors know more and besides, no one knows everything. I wonder why I got the name if it's not true. What odd people. Well, maybe that was normal? My trunk was quickly loaded onto the train and I walked until I found an empty compartment.**_

_**I looked out the window, thinking of the summer. Just as I knew, father was angry, furious really. I was tied to a bed for an entire week. He took the week off of work just to exact his anger upon me. Whenever I was awake he would beat me, when ever I was unconscious he beat-I know this from the bruises-any time he was awake he beat me. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink the entire week. I wasn't allowed to go to the restroom, but it didn't matter. With the lack of nutrition and bodily fluids, my body stopped, I nearly died, my brain had shut down.**_

_**When I had checked on my mother after the week and I regained my strength, I was horrified. She had absolutely no sight now, she had a hard time hearing, she had scars all over, bruises coloring her overly pale skin, bathed in her own blood. I couldn't look her in the eye, I was so ashamed of myself.**_

_**How could I have been so selfish and left her? How could I have gone to school and let that happen to her? School wasn't really needed, it was an unnecessary pleasantry. I didn't really need to go. I didn't deserve happiness, I didn't deserve that happiness. If I couldn't even take care of my mother, why should I be allowed that happiness? If I couldn't keep my father from insanity, why should I be allowed happiness? **_

_**I had told my mother that I didn't plan on going back to Hogwarts, that I didn't deserve to. But she was adamant that I go back, that I did deserve to. I had argued back that I didn't, that I was a waste. But she had manipulated me, that she would be disappointed in me if I gave up, that I at least owed her to go to school. I felt awful, not understanding why she wanted me to go. But I honored my mothers wishes, though not agreeing with her. I don't know why she had to manipulate me, but she must have a plan. Father had agreed, saying that since they that I wasn't really dead that I couldn't just disappear, that they would be suspicious. I was taken from my thoughts as the compartment door slid open.**_

_**I looked up into the happy brown eyes of my best friend, Neville. I leaped from my seat, not caring for my wounds, and hugged him, my thoughts momentarily forgotten. I hugged him, long and hard. That first week back home I didn't think I would see anyone ever again. I thought it would be the last time I would see my friend. I had forgotten this feeling of friendship, I had forgotten what it was like to have someone touching me without malicious thoughts, I had forgotten what a sane and healthy person looked like.**_

_**I stepped back and pulled off my hood as I sat down, Neville sitting down across from me. He looked at the gash on my right cheek, making sure I was okay, asking what had happened. I assured him I was alright, that I fell down while playing outside. He looked worried, though not skeptical, which allowed me to relax. I spent the time while we were waiting for Harry and Ronald to come assuring him that I truly was alright.**_

_**By the time the other two arrived I had to spend at least twenty minutes reassuring Harry and then Ronald that I was alright. Neville and Ronald accepted my reasons behind the cut, though Harry gave me a pointed look and watched me skeptically the rest of the train ride. I walked onto the carriages with the three of them and we talked quietly and excitedly with each other. We were there quickly and we entered the castle.**_

_**I smiled to myself as I looked up at the scenery above us in the Great Hall. I was so happy no one had decided to take it away. I quickly looked down, still not wanting anyone to know I liked it, that I loved it. I was afraid someone would take it away. I ate happily, excited to have my food made for me, to actually have food.**_

_**The meal had ended quickly, leaving us to find our dorms, which wasn't a hard thing to do. I smiled happily at my room. I would have a bed that I actually fit on and somewhere safe to sleep. I had gotten ready that night, snuggling down into my blankets and smiling as I drifted into sleep, waiting for the exciting things that would happen this year.**_

_**-^.^-**_

_**Our new Defense Against The Dark Arts Teacher was a blonde man by the name of Gilderoy Lockhart. He was an odd fellow that loved himself. He had absolutely no idea what he was talking about and he talked mostly about himself. But the girls seemed to really like him, so I pretended. It got me friends amongst the girls, giving me my first female friends.**_

_**But they weren't really friends, all they did was talk about Lockhart and how amazing he was. They talked about how much they wanted to kiss him, to marry him. I, of course, didn't like the man, he was a pompous prick-I still have no idea the meaning of this word, but it seems to fit-and I could careless if he were to suddenly 'disappear'.**_

_**He started a dueling club, which Snape had begrudgingly decided to help with. He didn't look happy. In fact, he looked as if he wanted to throttle the blonde teacher. But he had great self control and withheld himself, waiting for their demonstration duel to knock him off his feet. I had bit my lip to stop from laughing, though I think Neville caught me.**_

_**Harry was called up and was forced to face off against Malfoy. I was worried about Harry. Although he excelled in this class, he wasn't that great at firing at people, he was always hesitant. All of his shots were deflected, then, Malfoy let out a snake. It had the students screeching in fear. Lockhart attempted to get rid of the snake, which only ended in it becoming angry.**_

_**As I was ready to jump and defend my dear friend, Harry began speaking. His words came out in hisses, their sound harsh. The students looked at him like he was a freak, but you could see the fear in their eyes. Lockhart was confused and frightened. Snape was worried yet calm. He quickly disposed of the snake, still looking at Harry.**_

_**I reached up and grabbed his hand, pulling him off the table and ran, Neville's hand pulled along behind me-the body of course also being drug. I didn't look back at the loudly talking students as we ran, though I heard the heavy foot falls behind us. I didn't stop until I reached the front doors, in which I let go of their hands and turned.**_

_**Harry continued running, as did Neville and Ronald-whom ran by. I looked up to the figure stopping in front of me, not a breath out of place. He looked down at me, attempting to read me once more. The prickly sensation started once more and I closed my mind. Once more, his eyes narrowed.**_

"_**How are you doing that?" His eyes were narrowed into a glare. His jaw was set, and he was angry. I shivered a little, holding back the shiver and whimper. What was he talking about? I have no idea what he wanted.**_

"_**What are you talking about Professor Snape?" I think he actually growled that time. It wasn't as evil as my fathers, but it was angry. I couldn't hold back the shiver that time and a little whimper escaped my lips. I hunched my head down and brought my arms up to hold my stomach, a slight feeling of protection enveloped me, as if nothing he could do would hurt me. I knew this wasn't true, but it helped.**_

"_**Where did you learn Occlumency, girl? You are a muggle, you shouldn't know how!" He was angrier now and I whimpered a little again, holding myself tighter. I hope he didn't hear my whimpers, then he would ask more questions. His question hit me then and I tilted my head.**_

_**There was that word again, Occlumency. What was it? And why did people keep saying it? Surely if I didn't know what it was I couldn't do it, right? So what was he talking about?**_

"_**Sir, I'm afraid I'm not sure what you're talking about." I trailed off fearfully as he did growl this time. I took a slight step back, which he immediately took note of. He snapped his eyes back up to mine, a slight look of surprise flashing through their dark depths before they turned cold and blank. I shivered a little. He reminded me of my father when he was angry. Fathers eyes would turn cold and blank when he was simply in the mood to beat, when he wasn't angry. Like he was simply doing a job that was beneath him and didn't deserve his attention.**_

"_**I apologize Miss Granger, I'm not sure what came over me. You will report to my room at eight o'clock sharp along with your companions for detention. Do not be late." He swept away with his cloak billowing about him. He never said why we had detention and I doubted he ever would.**_

_**-^.^-**_

_**The rest of the semester, luckily, passed by without a hitch. Though, we discovered Harry was a parseltongue. I never told them, though I wish I did, that I could understand Harry. I wasn't a parse tongue, but I knew what he said. I also understood the snake when it spoke. But I couldn't always. Sometimes I did, sometimes I couldn't. it was the same with birds and cats. But with birds, I could speak to them in broken sentences, which they answered back with beautiful replies in their sung voices.**_

_**I don't know what is going on. First, Snape speaks of something called Occlumency, then I see weird things when I look into peoples eyes and concentrate, now I understand animals and can even talk to some. I was confused, no understanding what was going on.**_

_**I was sad when the others left. Neville left, once more, for Christmas. He left his presents with me and swore that he would write. Ronald wished me a Merry Christmas before moving on. Harry gave me a big hug and left with Ronald, promising to write and send Hedwig. I waved to them as they left, wishing I could be with them.**_

_**I walked silently into the castle and to the Great Hall, wishing someone was with me. Parents were taking their kids home, not wanting them to be at the school with all of the weird things going on. Students were being paralyzed, being hurt. News of Harry's strange power spread and they were worried. So I was left with one other student, a Ravenclaw by the name of Anthony Corthan. He was in the same year as myself, but we didn't exactly get along.**_

_**I didn't get along with the Ravenclaw's because they resented me for being smarter than them. I didn't get along with most Gryffindors because they resented me for my intelligence. The Slytherins resented me because I was smarter and I was a muggle born. The Hufflepuffs kept to themselves, preferring to stay with each other, so they never actually voiced any particular dislike of myself.**_

_**I sat between Snape and Lockhart. I had to deal with glares from one side and a bafoon speaking on the other side. I kept my head down the entire meal and wished with all my heart that this break would be over with soon.**_

_**A/N: ok, I again apologize for how long it takes for me to update, but I hope everyone enjoyed this. I know there wasn't a lot going on and I apologize for how short it was, but I hope it was good anyway.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters.**_


	6. Part Two of Year Two

The break ended quickly, though not as quickly as I would have liked. Why are the people here so weird? And mean? I always suspected people to be like this, but when I discovered that they weren't I was surprised when I met rude and mean people. Why should they be so mean? They have these wonderful lives away from abusive people that are suppose to protect you. I just don't understand. And I thought I was blending in with them, truly understanding how people worked. But I guess I'm not.

These thoughts, which I seem to be having more often than not, were always interrupted by Neville trying to get me out of my sour moods. Yes, I learned what a sour mood was called and what it meant. It was exciting to learn things about emotions.

I was currently sitting at a library desk in the back of the room, surrounded by piles of books. Harry was talking about something in the walls, talking to him. I was scared, I thought these weird things were over. I already knew that whatever it was, it was using the piping. The books I had researched in so far lead me to believe the creature was a basilisk.

A giant poisonous snake that can kill you with a look-unless you look at it's eyes second hand or through something. I'm scared. I don't want anyone hurt. How are we going to defeat this? I know it must be the thing hurting people. I was worried for my friends. What if they got hurt? What if they died? I felt my chest tighten and something rise up in my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced everything back to normal. I hadn't had that reaction to something in years. I thought I had gotten over that stage with father. I shook my head and went back to my research.

-(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)-

I sat in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I was stirring the potion. Harry and Ron were quietly talking to themselves as they walked about the bathroom. I sat back as I finished this step. I took a calming breath as I realized what I would have to do next. I pulled my robes off and stood in only a pair of ratty jeans and my school shirt. I told the boys I had to go and that I would be back.

The trip down to the dungeons was surprisingly quick and I stopped, breathing heavily, in front of the potions classroom. I pulled my wand from the waistband of my pants and waved it over myself, whispering a few spells. I opened the door and quickly walked through the room to the ingredient storage closet. I opened the door and walked in, quickly searching for the things I needed. I whirred-I learned this word recently-to look at the door as I heard someone coming closer. I whispered the same spells over the potion ingredients that I had waved over myself. I pressed myself against the wall and waited.

Snape walked into the room, eyes searching every square inch of the room. I didn't dare to breathe or even move when his eyes swept over me. He waved his wand over the room and I felt the pulse of magic sweep through the room. I silently thanked that my wards protected me from discovery. I waited for nearly an hour before I even moved again. I moved swiftly away from the dungeons and back up to the bathroom to brew more pollyjuice potion. I ended up turning into a cat hybrid. It ended quickly, but the humiliation was still there.

-(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)-

I walked with quiet footsteps back to my dorm in the Gryffindor Tower. I was silently thanking father once more for all that he had done to me. Without him I would already have been caught by these kind people. I kept my eyes down, focused on the little mirror in my hands. My bag held tightly onto my shoulder, slightly digging into my skin. It was stuffed with school books and the research books. I blinked my eyes tiredly. I can't remember the last time I was this tired.

I shook my head to keep myself awake and focused back down on the little mirror in my hands. I gasped in shock before falling stiffly to the floor. I heard something slither away. I remember those eyes. I tried shivering to discover I couldn't. I tried struggling, but that didn't work either. I was frantic with panic now. What was going on? Oh no, what is happening? What if I can't save mother? What if my father becomes really angry? How will I protect her?

I was startled from my thoughts by approaching footsteps. I tried moving my eyes to see who it was, but I couldn't. I waited in fear. I knew from experience that if you couldn't see the person coming for you, then you should expect an immense amount of pain. I silently waited for my pain with acceptance. Pain was something I had come to expect in my life.

When the footsteps stopped and nothing happened I focused my eyes on the figure above me. Wonderful. It was Snape. I would've sighed if I could, but I found I couldn't. He looked away for a moment and searched the corridors for anyone before settling down on his heels beside me. He focused back on my face.

"Well, well, well, Miss Granger. Seems as if you've stumbled in some trouble here. I should deduct points for you being out this late, but I shall refrain. After all, I believe the humiliation of being turned into a cat and now being caught unawares and frozen are good enough. Now, I'm going to try something, don't you dare think about using your Occlumency shields against me."

I looked at him with fear, though he couldn't see this, as he leaned down further towards me. What was he doing? Was he going to hurt me? Was he going to leave me here to die? He couldn't do that! Mother won't survive if I never come back to her! She needs me! Though I don't know why.

My thoughts distracted me enough from Snape's movements. He had leaned over farther and he was staring straight into my eyes. I felt the prickly sensation in my head again. Before the little voice could close my mind up, a few thoughts escaped.

The first was of me sneaking around in his potions closet, stealing ingredients. It showed him coming into the room after I had placed my spells over myself. It showed him leaving. It showed me standing in the same spot, a look of pure terror staying on my face.

The next memory was of me in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. My legs crossed under me as I leaned over a boiling cauldron. An open book beside me. The boys goofing off in the background. Moaning Myrtle whining in the background while trying to seduce Harry at the same time.

The third was of my mother chained to a wall. She was talking to me. He blind eyes focused on the wall behind me. Her face not able to hide all the pain. Her arms covered in dried blood. Her bruised hands holding my freshly bloodied hands. Her clothes in tatters hanging off her shoulders.

The last memory of me sitting in my closet with my mother when I was six years old. Listening as my father lied to the police. Waiting in terror as they left and my fathers footsteps came closer. Watching as the door flung open. Squeezing my eyes shut as I was pulled by a bruising grip on my wrist. Sobbing as fists came at me.

Everything blurred in front of me as the little voice finally managed to close my mind and push the prickly feeling away. My gaze focused on Snape. He was now sitting on the ground as he fought to regain his breath. What just happened? What did he do? Why did he let those thoughts come back? Why?

I would have cried if I could and if I wasn't so frightened by my instinctual fear of receiving pain for anything I did. I watched as he slowly stood up. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at me. I levitated into the air and he took me to the hospital wing. He didn't speak, not even when Madame Pomfrey asked what happened. He simply left without a word. I feared what he would do when I awoke.

-(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)-

Being frozen was quite boring, especially when I couldn't sleep. Harry and Ronald only visited once. They found the reason I was out that one night and never came back. I was hurt. I expected it from Ronald, but Harry? I thought he actually liked me. I thought he would be worried about me. But I guess I shouldn't be that upset, he had to find the basilisk after all. So I guess he didn't really have to come back, but still…

Neville visited me almost everyday. When he couldn't he explained the next day that he was usually serving detention with Snape. He told me about his day. He told me of the funny things that had happened. He told me of the sad things that had happened. He told me he was scared about failing something. He told me how much he wished I was awake so we could go play outside. So that we could talk. He told me about how scared he was that I would never wake up.

The one person that visited me most though was Snape. He would come around one in the morning, when everyone was asleep. He would sit in the chair next to my bed. Then he would simply watch me. He didn't speak, he didn't move, he didn't sleep. He just watched me. It was slightly disturbing. The only other person who had ever watched me sleep was my father. I always experienced a lot of pain after those times. Snape would stay there all night and wouldn't leave until a little while after the sun had risen. He would leave after staring down at me. The prickly sensation would start. The little voice in my head would close my mind. He would narrow his eyes and then leave with a swirl of his robes.

-(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)-

They finally unfroze me by the end of term. I was thankful Harry was unharmed. I couldn't careless for Ronald, or Gilderoy. I was horrified that Ginny, Ronald's younger sister, was nearly killed. But apparently everyone came out, none the worse for wear.

I also discovered Neville helped collect the mandrakes necessary to unfreeze me. It warmed me to know that he had dealt with those insufferable things for me. He had blushed when I expressed my thanks, but he had a smile nonetheless. We became even closer after the ordeal, especially when I told him that I could hear and see everything the entire time during my freezing.

I had continuously avoided Snape. I found out that he had made the potion that unfroze me. While that was expected, apparently it took a lot of coersion from Dumbledore to convince him to make the potion for the other unfrozen students. I had a feeling it had to do with the night he found me and those memories, which I still have no idea why they came up.

I was also to frightened to answer questions about anything that happened. I'm not sure if he somehow saw those memories, but if he did, I had no wish to talk to him. I'm not sure why, but I don't want anyone to find out about what is going on at my home. I believe it has something to do with the fact that I don't want anyone to know my failure of keeping my family from insanity and death. After all, it was my fault. I didn't want anyone else to know how much of a failure I was. What if they punished me and they were worse than father? What if they took my mother away from me? What if they hurt my mother? I just couldn't handle the thoughts, so I hid away from them.

-(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)- -(^.^)-

I was once again walking silently back to my home. I had waved my friends off before leaving the train station. I was one of the last people to leave platform 9 ¾. I didn't want to go home, but I had no choice. If I didn't, father would hurt mother. So I continued my silent walk, my head bowed.

**A/N: Hey, I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated, but I made this chapter a little longer so as to appease you all. So, I hope everyone enjoyed! Thank you for reading!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters.**


	7. Part One of Year Three

This summer was better than the others, father wasn't trying to kill me the last week. He said it was so no one saw any cuts and become suspicious. But he was worse in his verbal abuse. He called me names, hateful names. I didn't even understand half the words he used, but I knew nothing he said was good. And he continuously made me watch as he beat and raped mother. It was awful and I wanted it to end. I would rather take the physical abuse.

But I couldn't tell mother that, she would be upset. She doesn't like it when I tell her I wish I was beat instead of her. She doesn't like when I point out facts. For example, she doesn't like when I tell her this is all my fault. She doesn't like it when I tell her I will die before I get to finish school.

School. Hogwarts. I love that place. It's becoming more like a home than my home with mother is, and that frightens me. How could anything away from mother be home? That's not right, it's terrible. I should be ashamed of myself. And I am. My home should be with mother, for she is the one I owe my life to. I hate myself for enjoying my time away from her.

But father agrees that I should go to school. That's why he is driving me to the Leaky Cauldron, or at least a place very close to it. The Weasley's and Harry asked me to meet them there. When I told mother, she somehow passed the information to father, whom insisted on taking me there.

I'm not sure how much I like cars. Father put me in the back seat, ordering me to buckle up. I wasn't allowed to talk, or even make a noise. He drove fast, nearly hitting other cars as he swerved. I was terrified the entire time, yet the rumbling of the car sort of soothed me. I shook my head as I saw the drop off place approaching.

As soon as the car stopped I got out. I didn't want to be with father any more. He had been unusually quiet all week. I was getting worried. I turned back to the car as fathers window rolled down. I barely caught the bills he threw at me.

"You mentioned to your whore of a mother that the other students have animals, right bitch? Well, go get yourself one." He began rolling up his window, but as it was nearly shut, he stopped. "Oh, and don't come home for your holidays." With that he sped off, not glancing back. I sighed and turned to the hidden entrance of the Leaky Cauldron, quickly walking in a moment later.

I was greeted by a tall red haired man, whom was slightly rounded in the face. I recognized the smiling man to be Ronald's father. I smiled, which was fake as usual, and greeted him in return. He had his son, Charlie, lead me to the room I would be staying in.

Charlie was kind, though he seemed more interested in animals than anything. Which was nice, maybe he wouldn't turn into a monster when he got married. I could only hope.

The room I was staying in was small, which I expected. It was dingy with thin, threadbare curtains. The room held a funky smell and I was slightly worried for my health to lay on the bed. But I sucked up any worries and sat. After all, I've slept in worse.

The next few days I was ignored for the most part. Harry was there quickly and him and Ronald spent most of their time together, which I was fine with. I got a cat, a half-Kneazle actually, named Crookshanks. He was a giant orange puffball with a flattened face. The others mocked him, but he was so kind, and he was intelligent. So I spent those few days with him.

By the time we went to the train station, I was fairly annoyed with the boys. They ignored me, nearly forgetting I existed, yet got angry with me and called me antisocial. They told me to stop studying so much, to loosen up. And I tried, I tried really hard. I tried riding a broom, yet I was terrified the entire time. I tried wizarding chess, but I found myself having to dumb my moves down just so the others had a chance. I tried oggling men in the magazines Ginny had, but I was bored to tears. So, I gave up.

The train ride began uneventful, me mainly ignoring the boys and the boys not realizing this. I would go look for Neville, but the trolly woman told us we were not to leave our compartments. So I sat in silence and wished to be at school.

"Hey, what's wrong with the windows?" I looked over to the windows, thinking Ronald was once more playing a prank. My eyes widened in surprise when I saw the windows icing over. My jaw slackened and my arms dropped to my side as I sat up straight. My head whirred to the door as it creaked open, the train was eerily silent.

A dark hooded figure glided slightly into the compartment. It was so cold, I was scared. What was this? My breathing had become shallow and labored, quick and unfulfilling. I felt as if all of the happiness that I had experienced in this new world was being sucked away. It was worse than being with father! I felt as if the happiness was erasing itself from my mind.

I couldn't even turn my head from the figure, whom was facing Harry, as the previously sleeping man in the corner leaped forth and a bright light burst from his wand. After slowly regaining my breath, I looked over to the man. He was lifting Harry onto the seat opposite me with the help of Ronald. I could do nothing but watch. I felt useless, helpless, and forgotten as Harry woke up and the two focused on him, ignoring my wide fearful gaze. They didn't notice as I slipped from the compartment in search of Neville.

-(^.^)-

Professor Mcgonagall allowed me to have a time turner. They're illegal, especially for a minor. But she said she can trust me, that I am mature enough to handle it. I felt so proud. After the troll insident in First Year, I didn't think she would ever trust me. But she did, and it meant so much to me. I desperately wanted to tell Neville of the Time Turner, but she said it was best that no one else were to know. Not even the teachers were going to know about it, though I'm sure they are going to expect something with all the classes I have.

We found out that the man from our compartment was Remus Lupin, our soon to be Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. There was something odd about him, he seemed kind, but he had a shifty look about him. I wasn't sure if I could trust him. And Snape continued to glare at him whenever the two were near each other. Although I was nervous around Snape, especially since he could've seen something, I trusted him more than Lupin.

One lesson, Professor Lupin couldn't come, something about him feeling ill. So, Snape took over. His lesson was on werewolves. Werewolves. Why would he….unless…no, that can't be.

The next few weeks were a blur for me. While trying to avoid Snape, which he seemed to also be doing of me, trying to find out what was so off with Lupin, and protecting Harry against his evil Godfather, I was worn out. No one seemed to notice. They seemed to be pushing me to the back burner, like I wasn't important enough to have their attention, but important enough to not be left without any attention. So I started avoiding the boys, especially Harry.

I understand that Harry has other things on his mind, but why doesn't he pay attention to anyone? All he seems to do is talk about himself. He says he doesn't want attention, yet he is always so eager to do things he knows will make people pay attention to him. I don't understand, why can't people just say what they mean?

Mother never said people were like this. Why? Why didn't she warn me? Why didn't she tell me about how mean and hurtful people could be? Why did she want me to come back here? Why is it so important? I know she doesn't want me near father, but why? I don't like it here, I'm scared.

Sometimes, I hide at night. I sneak from the dorm right before curfew and sleep in an old abandoned classroom, I feel safer in those places. The castle, when you are by yourself, hums. It's like it speaks to you. It feels comforting. Sometimes, I can forget people, Father, and, sometimes, Mother.

-(^.^)-

Sometime near the end of the semester, Snape seemed to be following me. I got nervous. What if he really had seen something last year? What if he takes Mother away? I couldn't let that happen, so I began running from him.

When I was in the same hall as him and their were other people, I would hide out in the girls bathroom. In class, I sat at the back. I was the last person into the class and the last person out. When we were the only ones in a hall, I would run. Sometimes, he would give chase and tell me to stop, but I ignored him.

What confused me the most was his lack of discipline. Why didn't he just assign me a detention, or take points? Why didn't he take it up with the other Professors? Or the Headmaster? He confused me. And I found out recently, that when I get confused, I get scared. And defensive.

Even with all the signals he was getting from me, he didn't give up in his chase of me, nor did he try anything more in getting to me. For that I was thankful, it meant I could still continue to avoid him. So, I did.

-(^.^)-

Harry once more left with Ronald, which I was thankful for. Christmas would most likely be more enjoyable with him here, but it's ok. I'm still upset with him. Wasn't he suppose to be my friend? Yet he treated me like a minion, or like I was his worshipper. And I hated that. I was upset that Neville had to go, but I'm happy he got to spend time with his grandmum.

I learned about his parents, how they were crucioed into insanity. I feel even more connected to him. Not only do we have a bad family life, but he confided in me and no one else. Now, if only I could tell him about my parents. But I always felt so ashamed and guilty when I thought of them. Wouldn't anyone? If it's your fault that your parents are the way they are, you should be ashamed and feel guilty, right?

I shook my head as I walked down to the Great Hall. Me and Anthony were again the only students left. The parents were worried about the crazy lunatic, Sirius Black. I almost felt like smiling as I sat between Snape and Anthony. Snape kept glancing over at me as Anthony ignored me, listening to the Headmaster talk instead. I ignored them, silently laughing at my thoughts.

Shouldn't the parents be more worried about the werewolf teaching their students. I glanced up at said Professor as he laughed. Professor Lupin.

-(^.^)-

**A/N: Ok, so obviously this is a much happier chapter, yet it still has its depressing moments. And I'm really sorry I haven't updated anything in a really long time, you see, I had some things happening.**

**Firstly, my mum just had her baby, the next day I turned 16. The next week, last week, I was at a camp, and this week I've been helping to clean our old house so that my dad can move in. my mum is also getting married. Oh yeah, did I mention my parents are divorced? Well yeah, she's marrying the father of the baby. So sorry I haven't updated in a while.**

**I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or its characters.**


	8. Part Two of Year Three

**A/N: Would everyone please go on my profile and vote rather you want Hermione's mother to die or not, I'm not sure what I want to happen to her yet, I have a scenario planned in my mind for both, I just can't pick between the two.**

-(^.^)-

I again received a present from Neville. He got me another book. He knew how much I loved books. He got me one of the original journals by Nicholas Flamel. He didn't say how he got it, just that his grandmother had friends in high places. I was so happy, this was the third original copy of something he had gotten me. I felt bad that I had never gotten him anything, but he said it was alright.

I also received two more gifts. One was obviously from a female, the writing told me as such. It was a beautiful alexandrite in the shape of a heart held by silver shaped into vines. The small pendant hung on a thin silver chain. She said it held charms to keep it form breaking and a charm to warn off wrackspurts, whatever those were. But it seemed to be a genuine gift.

The other was from a male, again, the writing-which was only my name-told me as such. He gave me a simple silver ring, which I wore on my right middle finger. The silver seemed to be many vines weaving about each other. The came to hold a single stone, a pale alexandrite. It was the same color as the necklace the woman gave me, it made me curious as to who got the gifts for me. I could feel the charms and spells pulsing slightly from it.

I never checked either piece of jewelry about the charms and spells I could feel around them, it simply didn't seem right. Why would someone spend the time to get a beautiful gift, only to sabotage it with evil intent? I was curious about my two gift givers, but I didn't question that either. They seemed to actually want me to have these for my good and happiness. A fluttery, happy feeling started in my chest whenever I thought of my gifts.

-(^.^)-

The boys came back soon enough after the break, sooner than I would have liked. But I was happy to spend time with Neville again, I've felt like I've been neglecting him. Harry was still acting the same, but I seemed to be the only one who realized his behavior. Why? Why was it that I was the only one to recognize his oddness? Maybe it's just me….after all, I've never really been around people, so it must just be me. There must be something wrong with me, and it's all my fault. If only I had been better, helped mother and father better, maybe then I wouldn't be an outcast, a weirdo.

But Neville was different. He didn't act so weird. And there was this girl he wanted to introduce me to, but wasn't ready to introduce us. He said she was a little different and he wanted me to be a bit more comfortable around people. I'm not sure how, but he picked up on me being socially awkward, which was fine by me, it means someone understands.

I still avoided Snape, he wasn't so adamant on chasing me during the winter holidays, almost as if he wanted me to have a happy time during Christmas. Why was he being so weird? I don't understand. When I first met him, he was rude. Even still he was rude, but he seemed to be almost, well, nicer to me. It wasn't obvious to others, they never paid any attention to me, but I could tell he was making an effort to be nice to me. I was so confused.

-(^.^)-

Harry got to ride a hippogriff, Buckbeak. I wanted to, but I was too nervous, what if I was hurt really badly? I didn't like flying. I realized, recently, that I don't want to be in pain more and more. I mean, I've never wanted to be beaten, but I deserved that. But if I had a choice of being in pain that I could easily avoid, or avoiding said pain, I've decided that I would rather avoid the pain, no matter the rewards I could receive by withstanding the pain.

I watched, somewhat enviously, as he flew through the air on the graceful creature. Over the water, through the air, over the woods, flying elegantly. I couldn't help it, I slightly wanted to be up there. I fingered the time turner around my neck, I could always go back in time and ride instead…no, I would still be here, therefore meaning my past self would see me and people would become scared. I would not only get myself in trouble, but others too.

So instead, I watched as Harry flew around until he landed. Draco Malfoy, a Slytherin, immediately accused Buckbeak of being a non-dangerous creature. Buckbeak attacked him when he went prove his point. I couldn't help but to slightly laugh, even if it was in my own mind. I left as the class was dismissed, Hagrid carrying Malfoy to the infirmary.

-(^.^)-

We faced off against boggarts in Defense Against the Dark was actually quite amusing, as long as I didn't have to go up there. I know what my biggest fear was, and I was to ashamed to let anyone else know what it was. Professor Lupin's biggest fear had me wondering again. It was the full moon.

As I left class, an excuse to the boys of going to the library, I thought of the professor. I was fairly positive before the break that Lupin was a werewolf, but I was absolutely positive now. My only question was, why did Dumbledore employ a werewolf? It didn't make any sense. Doesn't he know what will happen if the ministry or the parents were to find out he was a werewolf? I thought Dumbledore was a smart man.

I mechanically sat down in the library and began pulling out my homework when a thought crossed my mind. No one else was with me, I could finally research occlumens and legilimens! Perfect. I stood quickly and began my search of the library bookshelves, settling by a window in an old part of the library no visited any more, a pile of books surrounding me as I began my search.

-(^.^)-

I ran with Harry towards the whomping willow as we watched Ronald dragged into its roots by a black wolf looking dog. We momentarily forgot about the tree as we watched Ronald, screaming, dragged under. Our battle with the tree began then.

We were getting nowhere dodging the branches, or, in my case, holding on for dear life. A well placed through and jump, performed by me, allowed us entrance into the tree. I was proud, once again thanking father for his lessons. Without him, I never would have had the strength and well timing to get us in. but Harry didn't recognize my accomplishment.

But that's ok, right? I mean, his best friend was being held captive by an evil wolf-dog. There was no time to praise me, no matter how quick or simple it would have been. And I didn't really deserve the praise, right? I was only making up for the wrongs I had done my family, wrongs that I would never be able to atone for. My thoughts were shook from my mind as I realized we were with Ronald, and Sirius Black was presenting himself to us.

He was rugged. Long black hair and haunted eyes. He still had his prisoner clothes on, though they were dirtied and torn. He looked crazy, angry, and as if he were searching for revenge. but for some reason, it didn't seem as if he wanted to hurt Harry, at least not now. I've learned how to detect who my father wants to hurt by looking in his eyes. This man, Sirius, was no trouble to read.

But, nevertheless, I stood in front of Harry as if to protect him. Truthfully, I didn't want him to hurt Sirius before I got our facts straight. I saw Remus out of the corner of my eyes. When did he get here, has really been here this entire time? Maybe I wasn't learning everything I could from father…I shook the thoughts from my mind as everyone began speaking. Somewhere in there, I had shouted, alerting the others to the fact that Lupin was a werewolf.

I participated slightly in the arguments happening before I saw a figure moving in the hall. I would attack, but Harry held my wand. I nervously watched as Snape, making brief eye contact with me, entered the room to face Sirius and Remus, wand out. I watched in horror as Harry attacked him.

How could he! Even though I'm slightly frightened by the professor, worried if he had really seen something last year, I didn't want him injured. I didn't want anyone injured, no matter how evil. I've seen enough of my father. Even if my fathers violence is my fault, I didn't like violence, I never asked that to be my punishment. Oh how I wished I could've taken better care of my family.

I was once more pulled from my thoughts as Scabbers, Ronald's rat, turned into Peter Pettigrew. The ugly, fat man tried sweet talking his way out first, then he tried running. Finally, as Sirius was preparing the killing blow upon him, Harry spoke up.

"Don't kill him." The man scampered to his feet, thanking him. Harry jerked his feet away, and with an evil look, he spoke once more. "Don't thank me, you're the reason my parents are dead. No, I'm going to make sure you spend your last living moments in Azkaban before you receive the Dementors Kiss." I flinched slightly as Remus and Sirius agreed. A few moments and we were leaving the room.

Remus left first, clearing the way incase anyone else, like Snape, had been following them. Sirius and Harry left next, carrying Ronald between them. I stayed behind a moment, checking on Snape. With a glance at my friends, I cast a slow acting spell on him that woke him from his unconscious state. Enough time to get safely back to the castle, but not to long as to where he would be sitting here on his own for a few days, which he would've been had I not cast the spell. I stood quickly and ran to catch up with the others before they noticed I was missing, which they wouldn't.

-(^.^)-

I cowered beside Ronald, Harry on his other side holding him up, as Lupin began his transformation. Sirius was trying to calm him down. He was quickly thrown away. Lupin was hunched over in pain, whimpering. I looked over to the boys beside me. They were petrified in fear.

Here was one of those moments. I could dive under the tree and avoid the pain, the boys would follow quickly. Or, I could try to help Lupin calm down, giving the boys enough time to get away. I glanced back over at the boys, seeing them in their petrified states. I could care less about Ronald, my affection had not grown since first year, it had lessened, actually. But Harry, while I don't believe I would be particularily sad if he died, I know he is meant for something wonderful, something that will lessen the violence, lessen the amount of people like my father. I would lessen the amount of people with my shame and my mothers pain.

Mother. A pang went through my heart at the thought of her. No matter all of the evidence that showed me she isn't always looking out for me, I owe so much to her. I owe her my life and more. I am nothing without my mother. What would she think if I were to abandon Harry and Ronald? Leaving them to their possible death.

With my decision in mind, knowing my mother would be disappointed in me again if I didn't do this, I walked forward. "Professor, it's me, Hermione. Do you remember me." Lupin, no, the werewolf, turned to look at me, its eyes unrecognizing as it stared into my golden eyes. It growled softly, my eyes widened.

"_Leave me be, girl. I will kill you unless you leave!" _I backed away quickly to stand with the boys as it gave a few nonsensical growls. At that moment, as the werewolf straightened slightly, Snape chose to pop out from under the tree, not noticing the werewolf as his eyes focused on the three of us.

His mouth opened to yell, but was interrupted by another growl and slight howl from the werewolf. Snape jumped in front of us, pushing us together and behind him, as the werewolf swiped, catching Snape on the shoulder. His falling form, much larger than our own bodies, pushed us to the ground. I caught his upper body before his head could hit the ground.

The wound wasn't deep, nothing that wouldn't take a few moments to heal with magic. Though, it looked as if it were painful. Oh, I wish he hadn't come out, maybe then he wouldn't be in pain. I felt as if it were my fault again, if only I hadn't insisted we go visit Hagrid before Buckbeak was to be executed, maybe then this whole mess wouldn't have happened. I looked up as Lupin once again began his advancement on us. Snape put an arm around me, pushing me slightly behind his sitting form.

This was odd, I had never had someone other than my mother protect me. Sure she was the only person I had had contact with for most of my life, but still, none of my friends had ever protected me like this. It felt…nice.

At the last moment, Sirius, in dog form, leaped forward and tackled Lupin. My eyes widened in shock as the two fought, Lupin, in this form, was destroying Sirius. I watched as Harry stood and threw a rock, getting its attention off of Sirius on him. A howl from the woods stopped Lupin's attack on Harry. Another werewolf? I didn't know any lived in the Forbidden Forest.

I watched Harry as he followed Sirius down an incline, tempted to follow. I didn't want anyone else getting harmed. But, as I stood to follow, a hand stopped me. I followed the arm and body connected to it until I came to the face. Really, I already knew who it was, I was just stalling. I did this with father on occasion. He always wanted me to look him in the eyes as he began his beatings.

"Miss Granger, take Weasley to the infirmary. You are to take no detours or stops, understood?" I waited for a moment before nodding. He stared me in the eyes a moment longer before nodding and speeding off in the direction of Harry and Sirius. I sighed as I turned back to Ronald.-(^.^)-

I sat beside Harry as we waited for us to come out from under the tree. Buckbeak was playing around behind us, attempting to catch the bats as they flew by. It was nice like this, just the two of us. He wasn't Harry-The-Chosen-One, he wasn't Harry-The-Awesome, he wasn't Harry-The-Boy-Who-Lived, he was just Harry. I wished he was like this more.

"Hermione, I think I'm going to live with him." At my confused expression, he explained. "Sirius, I mean. I think I'm going to live with him. He asked, and, well, I think I'm going to live with him. He's my godfather, you know. My dad's best friend. I think I'd like to get to know him better." I smiled, genuinely happy for him.

"That sounds nice Harry, really nice." But I couldn't help the slight bit of envy I felt. Why did all of these good things happen to him? He came here, a nobody, and look at him now. The most famous kid, super rich, loved by all, and now he gets to go to live with his loving godfather. Me? I'm still a nobody, poor, hated by most, and my life at home has gotten even worse. I shouldn't come back, it's no use. I'll never be able to help mother, I will always be a failure and disappointment. My focus was snapped as I saw us exit the tree.

-(^.^)-

As I sat on the train, sitting silently by myself, I thought of the past year. Why is it, that every year I'm here, something happens? Why is it, that every year I'm with people I feel happy to be from my fathers pain, but I feel sadder everyday? Maybe, even though it was my fault that I was the cause for distress in our home, my father was trying to protect me. Maybe he didn't want me to be hurt by the evil people of the world. Maybe, the reason he hurt me and mother was to show me the hardships of the world.

Yes, that must be it. There was no way, even if my father was going insane, that he would ever hurt me and mother or no reason. He did it all to help did love me. No matter how many times he said he didn't, he did love me. So with a smile on my face, I eagerly awaited my return home.

-(^.^)-

**A/N: obviously, I'm not going by the timeline of the books, though I try to keep the same general events. Interesting turn at the end, isn't it? You can't blame her though, she's never had anyone to explain things to her, she can't remember anything other than abuse from her father before Hogwarts.**

**Oh, and again, will you please go on my profile and vote? I'm not sure if I want Hermione's mother to die or not, so I need your help! And I have a good idea of what is going to happen to her dad, but if you have an idea about what you want to happen to him, just tell me in your reviews!**

**So, I hoped everyone enjoyed this extra long chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters.**


	9. Part One of Year Four

I ran a bloodied hand through limp, greasy strands of curly hair. Father had just finished his last beating for the summer, a week before I was due to meet with the Weasley's to go to the 422 Quidditch World Cup. I was standing now in the upstairs restroom, my father having already stumbled drunkenly from the house and to his car. I quickly washed the blood off my body with a small rag I fished out form under the sink. After a last glance into the mirror, I ran downstairs to the basement, to mother.

Mother had, unfortunately, declined even farther towards death. I feared that, without help, she would die. But, I couldn't go to someone for help. I just couldn't, I couldn't. There was something stopping me. And I couldn't do that to father, especially not now that I had found out that all he wanted to do was help and prepare me.

I smiled weakly at mother as she called out in a cracked and broken voice. I held her trembling hand and sat beside, listening as she once more told me how much she loved me.

-(^.^)-

I smiled at Cedric Diggory and his father before running off with Ginny, up the hill where we were headed. We stopped by a boot, giggling happily. The last time I was this happy was during my first Christmas at Hogwarts, when I received my first gift. I shook those thoughts from my mind as I stared at the old boot in front of me curiously, trying to figure out its secrets.

-(^.^)-

I gave a small shout of surprise as I ducked the many spells rushing at us, Harry and Ronald by my side. I stood up slowly as Mr. Weasley spoke to the officials, convincing them of our innocence. I answered Harry quickly as he questioned what we were being accused of.

"It's the Dark Mark, Harry. It's _His_ mark." He looked back at me with slight horror before he turned to the minister and told him about the person he had seen, the person who had cast the Dark Mark after the Death Eater attack. I looked around us in fear as the auror's and minister left.

-(^.^)-

I hugged Neville tightly as I stood next to him in front of the train. I had dropped my bags and ran for him as soon as I saw him. He held me tightly, his head resting on mine. I finally pulled back and smiled up at him. He too smiled before motioning for me to get onto the train. After a quick look to see one of the train workers hoisting my trunk into the train, I followed him to a compartment.

I froze for a moment before hesitatingly sitting down as I looked at the blonde girl sitting next to Neville. She smiled serenely at me, holding an upside down magazine loosely in her hands. I looked quickly over to Neville, a question in my eyes. He seemed to understand and smiled as he began explaining.

"Hermione, this is Luna. Remember? I told you about her, but I didn't want you to meet yet?" I nodded slightly, still waiting for his complete explanation. "Her dad is the editor of _The Quibler_. She's really nice, please, give her a chance." He looked at me pleadingly and I was shocked to find that he genuinely thought I may be mean to her. I looked over at her, and with a bit of a quivering strength, I held my hand out as I spoke.

"H-hello, my name is Hermione, Hermione Granger. How do you do?" She smiled serenely as she leaned forward and held my hand between both of hers warmly, magazine dropping forgotten to the floor.

"And I am Luna, Luna Lovegood. I am so very pleased to meet you. Did the necklace keep the wrack spurts away?" I was stunned for a moment, once more, before slowly nodding. I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't know what these creatures were, but she seemed genuinely concerned that they may have harmed me.

She smiled once more after I nodded and leant back in her seat. "That is good. I would have been sad if my friend were to be injured." I finally smiled, without reserve, as she called me her friend. I also leant back in my seat and spoke with Neville and Luna as the train made its way to Hogwarts.

-(^.^)-

I sat quietly as I waited for Professor Dumbledore to begin his usual speech. I was eagerly awaiting his explanation as to who our guests were. I didn't have to wait long. I turned to the front doors, along with everyone else, as he introduced the Beauxbaton girls.

I was slightly jealous as I watched them flutter down the isle, sighing at the perfect moments to gain the full attention of the hall. Why couldn't I be beautiful like that? I was no vain person, but if I had even half the beauty of those girls, I may have a few more friends. But, I guess, as long as I had Neville, Luna, and Harry, I wouldn't be lacking in the friend department.

I was snapped from my thoughts as the Durmstrang boys made a dramatic entrance into the hall. I watched, slightly bored, as they over dramatized things, but then, I was caught in the gaze of one Victor Krum.

Something about the way he looked at me, watched me as he walked, made the breath in my throat caught. I couldn't help but stare right back. Never, in my entire, short life, had anyone ever looked at me like that. I couldn't tare my gaze from him until he had broke our connection my turning his sight back onto the front of the Hall. I gasped slightly before looking back to Dumbledore as he revealed the TriWizard Tournament Trophy.

-(^.^)-

My eyes were immediately glued to him, Victor Krum, as he placed his name in the Goblet, eyes never leaving mine. There it was again, that fluttery feeling. Our gazes were locked. He took his time in drawing away, as if making me deliberately watch him. Almost as if he were casting a spell to make sure I wouldn't look away. And I didn't, not until he finally looked away and left the room.

It took me a moment before I could breath and think again, my mind still stuck on the look in his eyes. My heart still beat rapidly, trying to identify why he looked at me like that. I looked back to the door, as if he were still there, even as the Weasley twins burst through the door, grins on their faces.

-(^.^)-

I looked down in horror as the tail of the dragon caught Harry in the stomach and flung him into a nearby wall. I wished now, that our time in the tent hadn't been cut short by the annoying woman, that stupid reporter, Rita Skeeter. I waited with baited breath for him to stand and nearly fell to my knees in relief when he did.

Finally, he used his thick skull and used his wand, though I did not here what he shouted. I held Neville's hand in a death grip, hoping against all hope that Harry would live. And my hope only doubled when his broom, literally, swept him off his feet and into the air. But the dragon broke loose, flying away from the arena and after Harry. My hope dwindled the longer they were away, the crowd silent as they awaited his return.

I sank to the floor of the stands as Harry returned, latching onto the egg and weakly holding his broom in the other, slowly circling before landing on the ground. I looked up and watched as he grinned looking at the people around him in excitement as they cheered, some people crying out his name.

-(^.^)-

"Hey, Hermione, you're a girl…" I turned to Ronald, completely annoyed, as he began making a gesture of dancing with someone.

"Oh, well spotted." I all but hissed, waiting for him to continue, waiting for him to continue on.

"Oh come on, it's one thing for a bloke to show up alone. But for a girl, it's just sad…" Here comes that feeling again, that one where your blood is pounding and your gaze is tinged red. I looked over at him angrily. How dare he assume that I have no date. And he intends to attack my low social standing in order to get me to go out with him. I angrily began packing my things as I spoke.

"I won't be going alone because, believe it or not, someone's asked me. And I said yes!" I whirred away, bag swinging around me as I marched up to Snape. My anger had, for the moment, smothered my fear of him and what he may or may not have seen. But as soon as my eyes locked onto him as I held up my notebook, that fear came back full force.

He seemed to be searching for something, his eyes darting around my face quickly before returning to my eyes. I gulped slightly and held my work higher so that he would take it, I was desperate to get away. Finally, after another glance over my face, he snatched it from my hand and I quickly turned and nearly ran from the room, knowing he was still watching me as I walked away.

-(^.^)-

I peeked shyly around the wall before pulling back and, with a deep breath, walked out into the open, slowly walking down the stairs. The soft, silky dress softly hugged me as the breeze of walking caught it and blew it gracefully around me. The ends of my hair hanging form their up-do tickled the back of my neck, and my short sleeves brushed gently upon my upper arms.

People were stopping what they were doing and looking up at me as I continued my slow decent. But my eyes focused slowly onto Victor, whom was smiling up at me, a hand extended to take my own. Slowly, and with a great amount of effort to remain steady, I placed my hand into his much larger one. Tucking my arm into the crook of his elbow, he lead me to the line for the Champions. I looked to Harry as I passed, smiling happily and giggling breathlessly.

-(^.^)-

"You know the solution then, don't you?" I yelled as I followed him as he walked to the empty staircase. He looked back at me with a look of frustration.

"Go on." I stopped, tears beginning to form in my eyes.

"Next time there's a ball pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does, and not as a last resort." Ronald turned, as if surprised.

"Well, that's-that's-that's completely off the point." The git! I was prepared to begin yelling once more, but he interrupted me. "Harry…"

"Where have you been?" When he hesitated, I didn't hold back and let him answer. "Never mind! Off to bed, both of you!" I stayed where I was standing as he hurried away from me and up the stairs, Ronald by his side. As they walked, I heard Ronald speak, just loud enough for me to hear.

"They get scary when they get older." I gasped before I spun around. Jogging up a few steps, I yelled.

"Ronald, you spoil everything!" And then they were gone, the wall hiding them from view. I sank down to the step I stood on, no longer caring about the beautiful dress I had to beg for, the dress that would cost me the entire winter break of beatings. How could he? I had finally started warming up to him, finally started to understand why Harry liked him. And then he does this!

I buried my head between my knees, hugging my calves. What is wrong with me? I was having a wonderful night, and then I have to go and speak with him, completely aware of what he would do to my mood. He didn't do anything wrong, I'm just an idiot. A complete and utter idiot. I sniffled a little more as the last of the party goers began to leave. And I realized, not once had Victor come in search of me after we had had our drinks.

-(^.^)-

I was startled from my light doze by someone gently shaking my shoulder. I looked up, with foggy eyes, into deep, dark eyes. The eyes of my potions professor. The eyes of the man I had been trying to avoid being alone with for the past two years. The eyes of Severus Snape.

"Miss Granger, are you alright?" I couldn't move as I stared at him, so very close to me. My breathing grew rapid as we continued to stare at one another. "Miss Granger? Please, are you alright?" I was startled as he sounded as if he were begging for an answer. But I still couldn't move or speak. He sighed and leant back slightly, resting one his heels.

He watched me for a moment as I sat there, my dress still as beautiful as ever and my hair still resting in an elegant twist. But my eyes were red and puffy, tear streaks decorating my face, nose slightly runny. He pulled his wand from his robes and waved it around my face and I felt less stuffy. I gave a little gulp as he put his wand back and stood up holding out a hand. I hesitated for a few minutes before placing my hand in his. He spoke as he pulled me gently to my feet, which I realized were still bare.

"Miss Granger, I will not pry for your answers tonight." My head snapped from my bare feet to his face. After a moment and figuring he was telling the truth, I smiled, slightly grateful. "But aside from that, I would like to ask you for a dance." My eyes widened as I looked up at him. He, my professor, wanted to dance with me, his know-it-all extraordinaire student? My mouth hung open slightly and his lips gave a twitch.

I looked away as he gestured to the empty, dark dance floor. I looked back up as he walked away from me to the center. I waited as he slowly made his way before turning. And with a look, from head to toe, he held a hand out to me. I hesitated, wondering if this was wise. Should I really dance with my professor? What would father think? What would _mother_ think?

But as I focused on his eyes, I couldn't help but walk forward. They were full of understanding, as if he understood what was happening to me, as if he wanted to help. And although I knew he would never know what is happening to me, I couldn't help but take his hand. He swiftly placed a hand around my waist as I hesitatingly put my hand on his shoulder, which was well over my head. He took my other hand in his and with that, we began to dance as I softly began to cry again.

-(^.^)-

**A/N: Yes everyone, I am finally back. I'm really sorry for all the time I've been away. I've just been very sick…anyways, I hoped everyone enjoyed this! I know it was a little odd, especially the ending, but I felt this book, and the movie, left way to many moments of something happening to Hermione with no explanation, so yeah. Again, I hoped everyone enjoyed!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR IT'S CHARACTERS.**


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